A (Tired) History Lover's Gift List: Give Your Support!

I'm working on week six of my COVID recovery, and it's been rough. I've had more bad days than good, meaning that every ounce of energy I have goes into teaching my students and making my online classroom as awesome as possible. Typically I do a huge gift list post, but I was sick/recovering/busy catching up with work and didn't have the emotional energy to make it happen. I'm not even sure if I'll have enough energy to take pictures and sell my own jewelry this year. It is what it is, I suppose.

In lieu of actually buying items, I'm going to recommend that we support makers directly this year, specifically through Patreon. What is Patreon? It's a site that allows you to support a person or group with a one-time donation or monthly donation. Often creators will make content or rewards specifically for their supporters. 

Here is my list so far. I've linked their names to their Patreon accounts, as well as the greeting from their site. If you have more, please send them to me! Also, I have been in the process of putting mine together. It's new, without a lot of content, but it's making progress :)

Not Your Momma's History

Cheyney McKnight

"Welcome! I'm a Historical Interpreter and Living Historian. I have interpreted stories of enslavement in 26 states, 87 schools, and over 45 sites. My goal is to tell the story of enslavement throughout America in schools, museums, and historical sites using my specialized programs, lectures, costuming, touch objects, hearth cooking, and interpretation. Representation of accurate portrayals of Africans in America on 18th and 19th-century sites is an important step in creating and maintaining a well-rounded narrative.

Patreon is a monthly membership that has the potential to fund all that I do. I want to go to schools and historical sites that cannot afford to pay for my travel or fee, I need to maintain and replace my historical clothing, I want to increase the production value of my YouTube videos so that I can connect with wider audiences, I hope to continue learning through conferences and workshops, and I need overhead (keep the lights on and the sewing machine running). I hope to do all this with the patronage of those who support my work?

There are many different levels of patronage from $1 to $500 a month, and as a thank you for your patronage I offer rewards at each tier.

If you are unable to become a Patreon at this point remember that support comes in many different ways. My youngest supporters send me their art, but most of those who follow my work support me by just sending an encouraging message or email. It has taken a village to get me this far, and it was done through hundreds of small acts of kindness. Thank you for all the support you all have given me throughout my career."

The Sewphisticate

Anneliese Meck

Hello, welcome to my Patreon page! My name is Anneliese, and I am a seamstress, weaver, and living historian, who creates art and educational content to share with both online and in-person audiences.

My passions are for history and its clothing – the research, recreation, and wearing of historical clothing, ever since high school, has guided and continues to be integral to my personal and career goals. Pursuing these interests led me to my current work as a historical interpreter and interpretation office assistant at a large, 19th-Century living history museum; as well as a college degree in both costume construction and textiles (expected graduation: Fall 2020). Moving forward, I am eager to apply all that I’ve studied and practiced over the past few years as an aspiring, full-time professional in the museum field. I am dedicated to an accurate, diverse, and inclusive interpretation and representation of history, honoring both my Chinese and American heritage through living history.

Your support on Patreon will directly help me to continue creating historical clothing and textiles, conduct original research, develop educational programs, and new outreach through lectures, workshops, and future publications. Goals for the current year include: launching a professional website to better reach potential audiences; preparing for upcoming presentations on Asian American history and personal experience as one of (and occasionally the only) diverse member at a living history event; and continuing to create fun content for four platforms. (Find past and in-progress projects on the Blog, Facebook, Instgram, and here on Patreon.)

Your continued support makes all the difference and keeps me sewing - thank you for visiting and considering becoming a Patreon!

Latina Living History

Katie Lovely

I've been involved with historical reenactment and living history for over a decade and my passion is to create a welcoming, inclusive community for those who find the past as fascinating as I do. I'm exploring my mixed heritage through creating moments of connection with the past, be it translating recipes my Mexican ancestors may have cooked, or riding sidesaddle in a real reproduction riding habit from the 1800s. It's a deeply personal journey for me, and I'd love to share it with you!

A Milliner's Whimsy

Anna Worden Baursmith

After much prodding, I finally started a Patreon account. I truly do appreciate all the love and support from my clients, readers, and followers over the years. For those who don't know me, I am a straw milliner who recreates millinery from different eras in history. I do this by hand using a needle and thread. I shape my pieces with antique millinery blocks and blocks I make myself. I am also the author of Fanciful Utility, From Field to Fashion, To Net or Not to Net, and Paisley, Plaid & Purled. I am currently working on additional publications.

The Civil War Digital Digest

Welcome to the Civil War Digital Digest Patreon page. If you’re visiting us here, you probably have seen some of our videos. In case you haven’t, we make high quality videos about the American Civil War experience, currently displayed on our YouTube channel, Facebook page, and our website. These videos cover a range of topics from “how to” to in depth looks at original items to biographies of the lesser-known heroes of the conflict. We aim to entertain and educate armchair generals, teachers, and living historians alike. Episodes are posted every other Wednesday.

As with any quality endeavor there are regular expenses. In the case of video production, funds will immediately support purchase of more storage space for content as well as helping us travel further and commit more time to research and shoot a wider range of episode topics. Rest assured the work of CWDD will continue - can you help us out? We like the Patreon model as it allows you to support something that is already happening.

We ask for your support as a monthly patron. We chose not to do the “per episode” option here because sometimes a subject is large enough that we will upload two videos at once.
Please look at the giving levels with catchy names here. If the content we are providing is worth your financial support, check out the extras you will receive when you do. Our Patreon feed will also get to view extra videos that have been shot specifically for Patrons. Some of those will have extra history content – some will be bloopers from our shoots.

Thank you for supporting the CWDD and considering becoming a patron! We are amazed at the kind words we’ve received from so many people. 

Pod and Prejudice

Becca has read all of Jane Austen's work, several times over. Molly literally doesn't know who Mrs. Bennet is. Join us as we journey through the canon, starting with Pride and Prejudice. We can guarantee there will be a lot of "What does that word even mean?" and "Mr. Bing--Bennet--Bingley?" If you like Jane Austen, this is the podcast for you. If you, like Molly, have never heard of Mansfield Park or Emma, this is also the podcast for you. Read along with us and see why the classics are classics by bringing them into a modern context.

Become a patron and receive exclusive, patron-only content like Molly's notes, audio that didn't make the cut, and more! When you become a patron, you will help us upgrade our recording equipment, pay our team, bring guests on the show, and produce overall better content.

You can follow us on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, or email us at podandprejudice@gmail.com. We want to hear from you (but please keep our social media spoiler-free for Molly)! Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and Stitcher.

Brian Howard

Hi gang, welcome to the Brian Howard Patreon! If you're here then you probably saw me perform as myself, or as Broon at a theater or festival somewhere in the world. By being a supporter you are helping to keep my comedy voice out there in the world, making laughter and thought happen.

The Real Black Historian

Thanks for checking out my Patreon! My primary goal in creating this site is to continue to disseminate information, educate our people and publish books in the digital arena. In order to continue this progression, I’m relying on your assistance to support and invest in these projects so they can advance to the next level. My focus is not only to benefit us presently, but also the future generations to come.

I appreciate any and all support whether it's a donation or just clicking on one of my videos.

This Patreon account is designed to entertain you. So far I have conducted SEVERAL interviews with notable individuals such as Supermodel Kara Young, R&B Singer Claudette Ortiz, Actress Terri Vaughn, Plus Size Fashion Model Chastity Garner Valentine, R&B Legend Adina Howard, Prizefighter Boxer Andre Dirrell, Warrior Scholar "Redpill", Dance/House Music Legend Cece Peniston, and Reality TV Star & Author Dr. Heavenly Kimes. Upcoming superstar woman boxer Raquel Miller, Rising Rap Star Jazz Anderson, NFL Legend Thomas Q Jones, Celebrity publicist Alvita Alston, MMA Superstar "Muhammed Lawal", Voodoo Vixen & TV Reality Star Judi Jae, TV Actress Kim Hawthorne, Superstar from the r&b group "Xscape" Kandi Burruss, & More interviews are coming, exclusive only to this channel.

In my spare time, I like to write poems, read, write books and spread vital information.I spend a significant amount of time on Instagram connecting with my 110,000 online community and when I’m not gramming, I enjoy studying ancient history and traveling to the carribeans to embrace our culture.

Thomas Wood the Pyro Juggler

Kristen The Victorian Needle

Have a safe holiday season! I'll be writing more blog posts soon!

~Kristen

On My Book Shelf: November

One of the longest-lasting effects of the COVID has been exhaustion. I've found myself able to do basic daily tasks (work, hygiene, pets, light housework/cooking), but I'm pretty tired by the afternoon, to the point that walking around seems daunting. It can be very frustrating since I want to use my whole day. Even then, there are days that I can barely drag myself from my bed to the computer to teach online. COVID has been a roller coaster of effects, one that I'd like to finish at any time.

Reading requires little movement, and if I fall asleep with a book in my hand...I wake up with two cats and a dog snuggled on top of me. Reading has certainly been the perfect recuperating activity because I feel like I'm doing something. And since my pile of unread books has dwindled in the past few months, I had to buy more! If you have any suggestions, I'm totally open to them. There are never too many books on the shelf...

1. The Real Jane Austen

by Paula Byne

A lovely read, one that I actually selected because I'm in the middle of writing some Jane Austen fanfiction. I like how the author teases out Austen's writing elements and connects them to her daily life. Everything from crosses, shawls, lace, and miniature paintings are examined, and it's actually quite a thick book. By giving such context, it helps me to find more meaning in my own writing. If you've not read this and you are a Jane Austen fan, I definitely think you should!

2. Lieutenant Nun: The True Story of a Cross-Dressing,

Transatlantic Adventurer Who Escaped from a Spanish Convent...

by Catalina de Erauso 

Translation/Forewords by Michele and Gabriel Septo, Marjorie Garber

This story has everything. Catalina de Erauso, a 16th-century nun, decided that she was done with life in the convent. She chopped up her habit to make pants and a shirt, cut her hair, and lived the rest of her life as a man. This book is a translation of her adventures in The New World, with the foreword explaining the time period. Since I'm not as familiar with 16-17th century life, it was all new to me!

There is a problem with reading a translation of a book from Spanish to English; the English language does not encompass gender in the same way. There were many times that Catalina changed how she gendered herself, which feels more fluid in Spanish. I may go back and read the untranslated version to better understand that context. Regardless, Catalina stabs a lot of people and leads an exciting life.

3. When I Was Puerto Rican

by Esmeralda Santiago

I've recently enjoyed diving into books that explore the Latinx experience. While I am not Puerto Rican, I enjoy learning about the vast experiences of others. Being Latinx is not a monolith; each life is just a snapshot, all valid and worth study. In this book, I love the way Esmeralda dives into the details of each moment, from the juiciness of fruit in her yard to the dirt on the playground after she fights other children. Many things she has seen are 

4. The Freeze

by Dan Wickline, Phillip Sevy

Let me start by saying that the art in this book was beautiful. I have an image here from the inside, one that's just too pretty not to include. The storyline is Scifi/a touch of horror, with the main character developing a special power. I'm not a fan of traditional superhero books, so imagine my surprise when I fall in love with this series. There are a few graphic panels, but it does not take away from the plot (just a warning if you're buying for someone). I have the next one in the series ordered and on its way!

5. Dead of Winter; Good Good Dog

written by Kyle Starks, illustrated by Gabo

This book was super fun to read. Another graphic novel was added to my collection! And as I was researching, I discovered that the writer also does Rick and Morty, an animated series I enjoy! A dog that fights zombies is always going to be a bestseller. I'm patiently waiting for the next book in the series...and possibly training my beagle to hunt the undead. We'll see if that particular skill comes in handy one day!

~Kristen

Happy Thanksgiving!

 I hope everyone has an awesome and safe holiday! 

~Kristen

Dishing Out Grief and Lentils

This will probably not come as a surprise to any of my readers, but part of the reason I've been reading so much lately is that I joined a book club this fall. It forces me to read books outside of my normal list, as well as gives me a due date. Before the pandemic, this group met at the bar and everyone discussed the merits of such literature over cocktails. Unfortunately (actually fortunately in this case!), we are confined to the online space. 

Tembi Locke's From Scratch was wonderful in so many ways. She discussed her time abroad studying art history as a black woman in Europe, her romance and eventual marriage to Saro, the adoption of their daughter, and his cancer. We start in the middle of the story when she is fully gripped by mourning, suffering in grief after he died. She makes trips to Italy to feel closer to him and show their daughter the world of her father. It is beautiful and heartbreaking all at once. But there was one thing in particular that drew me to this book...

The food! Always food. Every chapter is filled with dishes that wrap around the story like a hug. While I appreciated every word, it was the recipes at the back that caught my interest, especially dilanti con lenticchie, which is pasta with lentils. She comments that it was the first dish her mother in law made for her when she visited, and her husband Saro revealed that lentils in Italy "Are fortune, and they are fate."

Yet it was Tembi's words that struck me as most profound: "But they are also a mourning food. Lentils bring the full human experience to the table. Lenticchie were the food this family turned to for comfort and sustenance when life gave you something irreparable."

When I read that about this dish, I knew I had to make it. I'm still feeling the effects of COVID, so the more strenuous tasks knock me out early. I bought all the food two days before, chopped everything throughout the day, and put a chair in the kitchen to sit down when I became tired. It was necessary labor for me, my first meal I've cooked in over a month.

I am in mourning now, mourning the loss of hundreds of thousands of Americans, many of them elderly, poor, and black or brown. I am mourning the loss of every event, every plan I made for 2020. And finally, I am mourning the part of myself that changed when I tested positive for COVID, the fear when my health declined suddenly, and every day that I feel my body is not my own. I hope that I am not irreparable, but that remains to be seen by time.

And while the mourning continues, I loved the food. I topped it off with pecorino and a side of freshly made bread from the bakery nearby. There was wine and gelato later, once I made room in my stomach. To be honest, I couldn't smell it, and my taste buds found it bland, but my fiance said it was delicious and I think I'll take his word for it!

I'm not sure if I learned a specific lesson from this book, or if it was just what I needed at this exact moment. In any case, the food did offer comfort. There's quite a bit leftover too, so I don't have to cook again for a few days. There are little victories here, one day at a time. 

~Kristen

Update on my COVID Recovery

 With the historic election now over (yay!), I finally have a moment to breath and write. I will eventually write a post about my thoughts, (which are totally happy right now) but for now I will give an update about my health. Many of my family and friends are curious to see how I'm doing. Since my last post I realized that not many people have been sharing an in-depth look at how they responded to the illness, something that is sorely needed, as cases here in Michigan have skyrocketed past 6,000 this week. 

It has been a roller coaster here. I returned to work after 15 days of illness with the lingering, long term symptoms that I have worried about since the beginning. This was no flu bug; I'm fighting through a few different things that are still ongoing and impacting my life. Going on week four here, let me tell you about it...

Lingering Effects of COVID

1. Taste and Smell Still Affected

Both senses were completely wiped out when I was very sick. I didn't smell burning toast, couldn't taste a single thing. I was miserable, probably because those two senses are an amazing connection to the world. Now I'm able to taste REALLY strong tastes. My diet currently consists of pickles, roasted garlic, and swiss cheese. I can get a very light, almost nonexistent taste of tangy and bitter. My sense of smell is doing a little better, as I can now detect really strong scents if I am close. I have no idea how much longer this will last. Luckily social distancing is still in place, because I probably reek of these foods...

2. Exhaustion Most of the Time

As I write this post, I am very, very tired. It is hard to find a time when I'm not ready to take a nap. There's never a moment when I couldn't lean over and fall asleep. I've gotten better at sleeping while sitting up, as if that's a possibility! Without energy I find I can barely do the everyday things that keep my life normal, like laundry, dishes, and feeding the pets. Beyond that I'm nearly useless (besides this writing, which I force myself to do!). I'm typically an "endless energy" sort of person, so the lack of productivity is causing some anxiety symptoms. Please see #6 when I talk about how this has emotionally affected me!

3. COVID Brain/Cognitive Effects

I've heard people call it "Covid Brain," which is a weird way to say that there are cognitive changes, and not for the better. I'm having trouble following complex conversations, and often lose my train of thought. My spelling is atrocious; my fingers don't seem to connect properly with the keyboard. Luckily, in the world of autocorrect and digital saving, this will not be obvious. I am very, very upset about this and I hope this is one of the first things to go back to normal! Sometimes I just feel so out of it, like I haven't slept in a month. 

4. Gastro Issues

It's weird to share information about my bowel movements with my adoring fans (ha), but here it is. At first the diarrhea was constant; it does not occur as often, but I still find myself with stomach pains sometimes. It is not linked to specific foods as it will change from day to day despite my diet. Perhaps my least favorite moment COVID was needing to hold onto something in the bathroom as I couldn't leave, but also HEY! I almost passed out. Good times.

5. Pain in Chest

Here's the weird thing; technically the pain is in my chest, but more specifically in my lungs. If I breath too deep, laugh, or overexert myself, there is pain. Sometimes it is dull, like when I take a deep breath. Movement can be difficult, especially while taking the stairs. Did you know that my life requires a ton of movement, between working in several school buildings, having pets, and just generally needing to use the bathroom? (See #4). 

I feel sharp pains around my lungs too. I'm told this is a sign of lung damage. Just GREAT.

6. Low Blood Oxygen at Times

I'm told this is also another side effect. We have a pulse oximeter at home, which measures the level of oxygen in your blood. On a normal day, my level is 97-98%, even with exercise and trying to hold my breath. Since I had COVID, it is lower, averaging 95-96% on average. While there could be some fault with the pulse ox, I do notice that I feel dizzy or out of it when it goes lower. It happens at random, seated or standing, with activity or not. It make me nervous about everyday activities like teaching or driving. While it has not fallen lower in the past week (not as scary low as when we almost went to the hospital), I'm anxious about always being at risk.

7. The Emotional Toll

This is not often discussed in relation to COVID, but I need to make a note of this. The first few days of my illness were bad, but bearable. The psychological toll of possibly infecting a large swath of people was terrible. I waited every day for some news, rejoicing every time a test result from my coworkers came back negative. COVID crept into my body and used me as a weapon, and I envisioned them feeling as terrible as I did, or worse. The thought that I could infect and kill my fiance passed my mind as well. That put me in a really difficult place. We distanced as best we could at home, adding to my isolation as we had to stay apart. 

The day I discovered that I didn't infect anyone (as far as we know), I was beyond happy. I actually cried after hearing the last coworker was negative. Perhaps I stayed far enough away on the right days? Maybe I didn't have a high dose of the virus? A host of guardian angels intervened? I didn't care just so long as they were all safe from me.

On top of feeling like I might be an unsuspecting murderer, the effects of a long illness have taken their toll. I am frustrated that I can't climb stairs or walk quickly, can't walk my dog or go to the grocery store normally. My crafting, one of the amazing things in my life, has certainly fallen behind. My house needs a deep cleaning, one that neither my fiance nor I can really do right now, as he is picking up my slack. It took a whole bunch of people (My fiance, his parents, my family) just to get us fed and okay for the weeks we were quarantined. Me, silly me, disrupted an entire system of people. I think I would feel guilt if I wasn't just so tired.

In Conclusion

My school district FINALLY decided to go out of the hybrid model and go remote, as there were thousands of new cases each day in the state of Michigan. About 500 people in my school district were sick or quarantined, many of them I know personally. Some have needed to go to the hospital too.

I am still recovering. I was told by a nurse hired by the Oakland County Health Department that I needed to report to school teaching 10 DAYS AFTER MY SYMPTOMS STARTED. She commented about how she knew medical staff who had COVID and still had to work. I wanted to say that if I were paid like a doctor, maybe I'd consider that. Instead, I wondered how many other teachers and staff were talked into going back to school before their symptoms had fully resolved.

They also did not identify my case as one transmitted within the school district. Considering that I was in a building with hundreds of students, and many quarantined/sick people, it seems that it is the likely place of a transmission. Since they could not track the exact person I came in contact with who gave me COVID, they decided I must have contracted the virus during my 30-minute grocery run (there was no indication of an outbreak at that location). Not having the truth about your illness out publicly is painful.

If I could go back, I would not have continued to teach. Yes, while sick with COVID, I taught on camera, held conferences virtually, and did my best to keep up. I did it for my kids, to show them that I would be here for them even if I was sick. They were also very worried; I received emails from former students too who said they would be praying for me. When I walked into my buildings after 15 days I still wasn't quite ready, but I knew it wouldn't be long since the cases were rising again. My building was only open for 4 weeks in total. I nearly passed out once, and was completely exhausted for the one week that I did teach in person. 

ALSO, and this deserves a completely separate post, black and brown communities continue to be disproportionately affected by this virus, and I have yet to hear official information about this from most school districts. It is worth noting that I am the only Latina woman that I know of in the district, and I was one of the first to get sick. We need to do better to help these communities in any way possible.

This week we had a day in Michigan with 8,516 new cases and 118 deaths due to COVID. Hospitals are so full they're leaving people in lobbies and storage closets. I am disgusted by the disregard for human life by many, many people who make decisions right now.

~Kristen

October Current Books on my Shelf

Back to my reading list! I'm realizing more and more that I stopped reading for pleasure when I was working on my master's degree years ago. I was so busy working through my classes that the thought of even a novel was too much. It's been a few years, a few moves, and a pandemic to put me back into the state of mind to enjoy reading. 

 *Note: I finished most of this post before I had COVID! It has been slow, slow healing with lingering symptoms. I've found myself having trouble focusing; I'll reread the same page over and over again.

1. Bingo Love

by Tee Franklin, Jenn St. Onge, Joy San, Genevieve FT

I need to stop picking books that make me cry...seriously though. The artists did an excellent job of representing two women in love and wove their stories together like a perfectly knit sweater. The art was fantastic, and I would definitely read any other book by these authors/illustrators. I'll be dropping this in my classroom library at some point, probably when I stop rereading it! We need to normalize these love stories! Also, graphic novels are an excellent way to reach out to more readers.

2. From Here to Eternity: Traveling the World to Find the Good Death

by Caitlin Doughty

Ever since I was a kid, I was interested in death. My mother called it a "morbid curiosity," which I fed with as many books and movies as I could stuff into my brain. I've read other books by Doughty, specifically Smoke Gets in Your Eyes, where she discusses her experiences in the funeral industry and how we handle death in the US. She's a part of the Death Positive movement, which seeks to help people become more aware of dying, death, and find ways to help people cope and honor the process. 

In this newer book, she travels around the world to study different cultures and how they perceive death. As I'm reading, I'm transported back to the time when my own Grandma was dying, and how working through it with her (we joked that she was my soon-to-be-dead Grandma Dolly) before she died and participating in her arrangements helped me through my own grief. I have pictures of my Grandma at the funeral, as well as a lock of her hair. Based on this reading, my efforts at coping are quite normal in different parts of the world. If you are someone who has lost a loved one or want to know more about death and how it is celebrated around the world, I highly recommend this book. 

3. A Princess of Mars

by Edgar Rice Burroughs

Let me start by saying this is not a normal reading for me. I joined a nerdy girl book club, and though I like discussing any literature, I would have not picked this. With that said, I did enjoy it. It was a very Scifi book, though it was written in 1912. Please enjoy the scantily clad alien lady on the front cover! I wouldn't dare ruin any aspect of this book with spoilers, but I'll say it is a short read. There are aliens and monsters and fighting and science-y stuff. And if you REALLY get into it, apparently there is more to the series!

4. Something is Killing the Children

by James Tynion IV and Werther Dell'Edera

Another graphic novel, emphasis on graphic! My local comic store stocked up on Halloween series a few weeks ago, and I snapped up this beauty based on the cover art alone. It is not kid-friendly, so this will not be passed on to my students at some point but will remain safely tucked away in my private library at home. The story is written very well, and indeed something is killing the children. Read with caution, read with care, read with the light on!

5. Paper Illusions: The Art of Isabelle de Borchgrave

by Barbara Stoeltie, Rene Stoeltie

I'm going to be completely transparent about this book; while there is an introduction and information about Isabel, most of the book is made up of brilliant images of her work. She creates clothing and outfits from paper that she molds and paints. I'm in awe of each piece for its intricate but stunning presentation. It was a really, really nice book to read while I've been sick because of the beautiful pictures. Really now I want to work with paper again! Perhaps when I'm feeling better...

~Kristen

Non-Consensual Participation in the Historic Covid Pandemic

 To start, I want you to know that this blog post took about a week to write. Not because it is a difficult topic, or that I'm so out of practice in the art of writing that words escape me (ha). I'm exhausted beyond what I thought was possible to still be a person, and even the drugs and measures I've taken to keep me standing barely do just that. Most of the time I'm passed out on a surface in the house, but I thought it was important to write this.

I returned to face to face, hybrid teaching about two weeks ago. I went from a distance learning format, where I saw no students, to seeing students every hour, all day. Cases were going up in the state of Michigan.

Let me add here: I wore a mask when required. I did my best to keep a distance from my students, though it is not possible with the space we have. I washed my hands and my desks and everything imaginable when I got home. I've taken vitamins and stayed hydrated. I only went to the grocery store. And yet, I contracted COVID.

It started with me being a little tired. Honestly, it felt like allergies, so I took an antihistamine and decided to rest. When I woke up the next day, I felt the beginnings of a cold. Immediately I contacted my work because I'm not going to play around with that stuff. Thus began my first week of quarantine.

At first, I was aching, sore, and tired. My chest was congested and I had a fever, as well as gastrointestinal symptoms. A sore throat appeared. My nose was burning, and I lost my sense of taste and smell. I taught virtually from my home, hours in the day despite my symptoms. I didn't want my students to worry and I was worried about falling behind. So I spent 4 days teaching and grading and doing all the things I shouldn't be doing. In my defense, I wasn't moving around a whole lot, mostly because I would get dizzy and need to sit down again. But this was wrong and I will tell anyone, just because you feel well enough to do something, doesn't mean you should. You're going to need every ounce of energy for the next part, so get ready. By this time my test came back positive.

I really hoped I was nearing the end of this...and then it got worse. Suddenly I could barely move, roll on my side from one position to the next. My resting heart rate was really, really fast. The pulse oximeter detected lower oxygen, then lower, and we prepared to possibly take me to the hospital. Here I am, 32 years old, and I can't even hold my head up. This was the scariest moment so far, Luckily my fiance worked with COVID patients and has the experience to take care of me.

Let me say this: I have ZERO respect for you if you call this the flu. I think you're an idiot if you think "herd immunity" is the answer (which would kill thousands of more people). My lungs may be permanently damaged, though we won't know for a bit BECAUSE THERE ARE NO LONG TERM STUDIES ABOUT THE EFFECTS OF COVID. This could be a really, really bad October for me or the start of a lifetime of health issues. All I did was physically walk into a building that I've been working in for a decade and do the job I've always done.

COVID isn't done with me yet. I'm still under quarantine and can barely walk to the bathroom. My bag is still packed just in case my oxygen dips again. I can't talk for too long without taking gulps of air like a person drowning. I'm having trouble sleeping because everything hurts. I've needed help getting dressed because I did not have the strength to raise my arms to put on a shirt. Literally, my biceps would not work, even with medicine and caffeine.

It definitely felt weird to take a picture right now, but I think I should be documenting what's happening to me. COVID is a legitimate, terrible virus that has killed 225,000+ people in the US alone. It is not a hoax against the president. The policies in place now have allowed it to spiral out of control, and I would be unbelievably angry if I wasn't so tired and focused on drinking this glass of water. Quit complaining that life isn't back to normal. 

I will add an update this week depending on how I feel. Please, please stay safe in the meantime. I'm going to get some rest because it is necessary right now.

~Kristen