On My Bookshelf: April

April has been a month of contrasts. For the first time in 6 months, I feel like myself in a lot of ways. I am walking long distances without feeling the need to sit (though I can’t walk AND talk at the same time…). I don’t need to take a 3-hour nap to get through my day. I am starting to taste and smell just enough to feel a part of the world again, though there is often a disconnect between what I experience and what actually is. My incredibly awesome fiance is helping me work through these things; little by little I’m returning back to myself.

One constant that has kept me balanced is my reading. Never have I had so much inclination to read. When I read in the fall after COVID, I would prop up my book because my arms would get too tired from the weight. Now I’m walking around the house with it in my hand to increase my endurance as well as keep up with my reading goals. The before and after is amazing to me.

As for my reading choices, recent events have kept me centered on social justice topics. My focus feeds that hunger in my soul that wants to be better, craves a better world for my students. It’s often discouraging to see and hear the things you read about coming from your kids. I’m lucky they trust me enough to share their experiences; it has taken well over a decade to become an advocate for my students in this way. Is it enough? Am I enough?

So enjoy my reading picks for this month. If you get a chance, I 100% recommend that you pick one!

1. What the Eyes Don’t See

By Dr. Mona Hanna-Attisha

I work within driving distance of the site of a man-made disaster. I used to live a stone’s throw from a poisoned city, thousands of people drinking water every day that slowly chipped away at their health and well-being. It’s an atrocity that happened in Flint, an homage to racism and an inept government that openly allows an entire city to suffer to this day. Flint still needs clean water.

With that said, I’ve always admired Dr. Mona Hanna-Attisha. She is the boss lady pediatrician/scientist/residency director who put her career on the line for her kids. They subjected her to a smear campaign, tried to deny the obvious disaster, but she just kept pushing. Every word in this book is a testament to her work and the dedication of many others who stood up. I’m not just recommending this book; I implore you to read it. Your eyes and heart will thank you later.

*I will be talking about her in a future post. Wonderful news! :) 

2. Class Act

By Jerry Craft

The second book in the series, Class Act continues the journey with a group of black and brown students in an elite, predominantly white private school. I’m looking back at my earlier comments about how awesome the first book was, and the second did not disappoint. In fact, I’m even more excited to recommend the series!

The part that struck me the most was the section that dived into the school’s inclusivity training. A very nervous white principal tried connecting with his students in ways that just fell flat. As an educator, I’ve seen similar situations with fellow educators who didn’t understand the impact of their words and actions. There were moments of trauma opened raw in the frames, and the author has again made me question and reflect on my own mistakes/experiences. I am going to highly recommend this book to anyone and everyone, especially white educators. The images can sometimes speak louder than words.

3. How Poetry Can Change Your Heart

By Andrea Gibson and Megan Falley

When I was in junior high, I won a poetry contest at school. They sent in my poem to an anthology, so technically I’m already a published poet? I’ve taught creative writing over the years, and we spend a lot of time unpacking student fears about the written word in general. Poetry is very near and dear to my heart.

But my favorite part about poetry? Deconstructing it, making it a less annoying subject to study. Shakespeare’s sonnets are off the table! This book really embodies that attitude. The authors express disdain for structured poetry and instead point the reader towards poems as an expression of thought, rather than the heavy-handed, over-analyzed drivel that is so common in poetry instruction. I say this AS AN ENGLISH TEACHER. Words can be used in any way imaginable and should be treated like little puzzles of awesome. I may be using some parts of this book with my students, simply because it makes poetry fun!

4. White Fragility

By Robin DiAngelo

This book has been recommended by so many people. In the past year, I’ve worked hard to better understand my own biases and shortcomings; it’s a reflection-heavy process filled with some not-great realizations. Unfortunately, my upbringing, while filled with some cultural awareness due to my Mexican heritage, did not fully embrace others. This book has really helped me to question every thought I’ve had about race and recenter my focus.

The author does an amazing job of making the reader question. There were so many things I didn’t even factor into the equation of racism, including microaggressions and perceptions in public. How can we claim that racism is “over” if there are still so many examples of black and brown oppression? This book has made me focus on how I can practice allyship in ways I did not even understand. If you are interested in dismantling your biases and making the world a better place, read this White Fragility and work on your process.

5. Dreamers

By Yuyi Morales

I’ve not included many children’s books in my list, which is a shame because they are so awesome! We don’t have kids in our house now, but I’ve slowly collected a library over the years. These will either be used by my future children or nephew or even both.


Yuyi Morales wove a beautiful story about her immigrant experience, one filled with vivid illustrations. I think of my own family when I read this, my Grandma and Grandpa learning how to navigate a new world. Her words are poignant and powerful, and it makes me want to learn more about my grandparents’ story. If you have children, this is a great book to introduce the idea of immigration and creating community.

~Kristen

Flora's Interpreter, and Fortuna Flora

This should surprise no one, but I’m not a plant person. When I was a kid my Grandma had her own little garden she kept in the front room of her house, all facing the sun. She loved them with water and good soil until they flourished everywhere. Sometimes when she would make breakfast, she’d send my sister and me outside to take a few stalks from the chive plant not far from her door, a large one that popped up next to a natural spring. We’d take a long drink from the spring then grab a handful of chives. Later they seasoned our eggs and potatoes, a staple breakfast dish for my Polish Grandmother.

As an adult, I’ve grown fond of other people who can figure out the whole plant thing. I’m still pretty hopeless at it, and have even purchased plastic greenery for the house (haven’t killed them...yet). There’s a single aloe plant tucked in the windowsill, one that my friend will check in on soon. It’s next to a shoot of bamboo that refuses to die as well.

So when I came across Flora's Interpreter, and Fortuna Flora, by Sarah Josepha Buell Hale, I was intrigued. The painted image of flowers on the front caught my attention, as did the name of the author; she was the editor for Godey's Lady's Book, a highly influential lady's writer in the 19th century. This is something my Grandma Dolly would have loved!

“We have moreover endeavored to unite real knowledge with this fanciful language the arrangement of each flower with its botanic as well as common name and also its class and order will be found of much utility by familiarizing or fixing these terms in the mind of the reader The locality of the plant too will enable those who desire the information to judge where any particular flower may best be cultivated whether in the garden or greenhouse.” (V)

The book goes on to describe the scientific parts of the plant, as well as their purpose and how they work together. I’m very green when it comes to plants (haha) but even I understood the language. I’m especially fond of the section about poisonous plants. One day this might be VERY useful, like if I get lost in the woods or start my own podcast where I solve cold cases from a hundred years ago...

But much like any 19th-century text geared towards women, I find myself with poetry and flowery language (haha again) all over the place. After all, we can’t just know the science; we should ponder the glory of a bay leaf in all its natural beauty.

And to be honest, that was mostly the rest of the book! I’m actually a fan of poetry, so I can read through it without falling asleep. I had a few favorites, specifically this one about Mount Vernon:

I can’t say I’ve ever thought about what it would mean to be a flower in a cemetery, much less one near a famous person. That’s an interesting perspective, an idea for a short story that is now blooming in my mind (OMG I need to stop). I wonder if a tree’s viewpoint would be different? More rooted in reality? (Alright I'm done...)

Finally, my favorite part of the book had to be the images. I've been playing around with watercolors lately, and while there aren't many pictures, there are still pretty. I highly recommend this book, even just for a short read. I can picture a group of ladies sitting around a garden reading it aloud as an activity, though I haven't done anything like that in a while!

I am now thoroughly in the mood for spring. Perhaps I'll even buy a real plant this year?

~Kristen

 It’s finally, truly spring! There have been little hints along the way. At first it’s the weather, just a little warmer with a lot of rain. Then the buds pop out from trees and bushes, one by one until the depressing black trees have the tiniest hint of color. It doesn’t really feel like spring in Michigan until April. I can even smell the change!

Spring is so short. It’s almost like a short waiting period just before spring. If it were up to me I would extend the whole season by at least a month. So in the spirit of spring, I searched through my primary documentation for something that would keep that feeling alive. 

I found this poem in The Liberator, an abolitionist newspaper published in the mid 19th century. I’m especially fond of the lack of author, only noted as “a German who died in 1676” With publishing laws a bit more lenient than today, I’m wondering if that is the actual case, or if there was an author who didn’t want their name published. Regardless, it’s an adorable reminder to enjoy the season!

The Liberator, December 18, 1840

In fair Spring' s fresh-budding hours,
What adorns our garden-bowers?
Little flowers.

When departing Spring we mourn,
What is shed from Summer's horn?
Hay and corn.

What is Autumn's bounteous sign—
Mark of Providence divine?
Fruit and wine.

When old Winter, hobbling slow,
Comes, what do we gain— d'ye know?
Ice and snow.

Hay and corn, and little flowers,
Ice, snow, fruit and wine are ours,
Given to us every year,
By Spring , Summer, Autumn, Winter,
As they each in turn appear.

Spring gives treasure, Summer pleasures,
Autumn gladdens, Winter saddens,
Spring revives, Summer thrives,
Autumn pleases, Winter freezes.

Therefore, friends, we all have reason
To extol each coming season ;
Spring and Summer, Autumn, Winter,
Honor counsel, deeds sublime,
Are the precious gifts of Time.

Happy Spring!

~Kristen

I’ve always been a fan of odd medical facts. Growing up I’d watch medical shows whenever possible, and I ended up with someone who works in the medical field! I never considered a career in the field, but I’m fascinated by the various illnesses and strange happenings that even modern medicine can’t understand. And eventually, I ended up in a relationship with someone in medicine, and of course, I read a bunch of his books/magazines...

In one of my ELA classes, my students and I discuss sources and claims. I like to take it back a step further, illustrating my point with much older examples of people making outlandish statements, and that is common when it comes to quack medicine. Plus, there are some interesting illustrations to go with the lesson. This is just one more reason I don’t think I’d actually like to live in the time period(s) that I study! Bless our modern medicine...

A particularly interesting source that I’ve recently come across is a citation from Godey’s Lady’s Book, dating from September to November 1888. There’s a beautiful illustration of a woman and the promises of health that only a conman can offer:

Bright's Disease, the Uric Acid Diathesis, Gout, Rheumatic Gout, Rheumatism, Nervous Dyspepsia, &c, &c.

Dr. Wm. A. Hammond, of New York, Surgeon-General of U.U. Army (Retired), Professor of Diseases of the Mind and, Nervous System in the University of New York, &c.

"I have for some time made use of the BUFFALO LITHIA WATER in cases of affections of the NERVOUS SYSTEM complicated with BRIGHT'S DISEASE OF THE KIDNEYS, or with a GOUTY DIATHESIS. The results have been eminently satisfactory. Lithia has for many years been a favorite remedy with me in like cases , but the Buffalo Water certainly acts better than any extemporaneous solution of the Lithia Salts, and is, moreover, better borne by the Stomach. I also often prescribe it in those cases of CEREBRAL HYPEREMIA, resulting from overmental wort —in which the condition called NERVOUS DYSPEPSIA exists— and generally with marked benefit. "


Dr. Tliomas H. Buckler, of Paris, France, Suggester of Lithia as a Solvent for Uric Acid.

"Nothing I could say would add to the well-known reputation of the BUFFALO LITHIA WATER. I have frequently used it with good results in URIC ACID DIATHESIS, RHEUMATISM and GOUT, and with this object I have ordered it to Europe from Coleman & Rogers, of Baltimore. Lithia is in no form so valuable as where it exists in the Carbonate , Nature's mode of solution and division in water which has passed through Lepedolite and Spondumine mineral formations.

Dr. Alfred L. Loomis, Professor of Pathology and Practical Medicine in the Medical Department of the University of the City of New York, &c.

"For the past four years I have used the BUFFALO LITHIA WATER in the treatment of Chronic INTERSTITIAL NEPHRITIS [ third stage of BRIGHT'S DISEASE] occurring in GOUTY and RHEUMATIC subjects, with marked benifit. In all GOUTY and RHEUMATIC AFFECTIONS, I regard it as highly efficacious. "

Water in Cases of One Dozen Half-Gallon Bottles, $5 per Case at the Springs .

THOMAS F. GOODE, Proprietor, BUFFALO LITHIA SPRINGS , VIRGINIA.

Some Observations/History

There’s just so much to unpack here. There’s the retired Surgeon General of the Army whose name is plastered at the top. Or the incredible claims of healing that made me giggle. Or what about those testimonials from doctors and patients alike, who tout it as “highly efficacious”?

Today we would probably laugh at such claims and regard this as a joke. To be honest, after my recent interactions with anti-mask, anti-science people, I might have to rescind that. If you’re an idiot person, please don’t go run out and get lithia water to heal your gout. I know you’re an idiot, but please don’t do the idiot thing. This is the disclaimer that I advised you against your own idiocy. Good luck?

In any case, I started digging into the history of Buffalo Lithia Water, and it’s quite interesting. In 1728, a surveying team that included William Byrd passed through the area. His journal noted the nearby springs, and eventually, a tavern and spa/resort popped up to take advantage of the “healing waters.”

In the latter part of the 19th century, someone had the clever idea to bottle the mineral water from Buffalo Springs, Virginia. By that point, mineral water was a bit of a craze in the United States, and people traveled all over the country to sample it. Of course, they could also purchase it from a very entrepreneurial salesman, thus the business boomed.

Tourism became a major industry in the area, and much like today, businesses sprang up to take advantage of the financial gain. There were all the amenities a 19th-century traveler could hope for, like cabins, a tennis court, games, restaurants, and even a post office. It was touted as a way to get healthy AND have fun.

Eventually, the good times would come to an end. Remember all those claims from the Buffalo Lithia Water company? You know, the ones that basically make lithia water an all-healing medicine? Back in the day, it wasn’t necessary to actually prove that your medicine did what you claimed it could do. People tend to get angry about spending money on a product that doesn’t work. So in 1906, the U.S. government passed the Pure Food and Drug Act, which targeted practices that could endanger people, including “the manufacture, sale, or transportation of adulterated or misbranded or poisonous or deleterious foods, drugs or medicines, and liquors.”

Unfortunately, Buffalo Lithia Water had made some pretty outrageous claims, technically falling under the “misbranded” category. After some legal wrangling, the federal government finally made the company change its name, as well as edit its claims about its medicinal properties. The original creator of the company died in 1905, and the tourism industry slowly died after that. Locals still used the water, but by 1949 the company closed. The U.S. Army Corp of Engineers went on to obtain the property, and it was flooded during the creation of Kerr Lake.

Looking back, it is interesting to note that Buffalo Lithia Water was advertised in Godey’s Lady’s Book. It was at the height of the company’s popularity, and the ad would have been popular with women looking for a vacation. It’s also important to note that the ads only ran for three months. Was it too expensive? Did the company find it didn’t have a financial impact? I’m curious as to the short time frame considering the springs were popular for much longer.

In Conclusion...

If you're especially interested in the mineral water craze, there were other places across the country that shared a similar fate. There's even a spot not far from where I live here in Michigan that boasted about their "healing waters." It's fascinating to realize that history is sometimes just a short car ride away!

There are many examples of Buffalo Lithia Water bottles online, especially eBay, if you'd like to add to your collection. I'm not much of a bottle collector, but they're pretty, and now that I know the history a little better, perhaps I'll snag one just for show. They range from $35-100+, so maybe in the future.

As always, stay safe my fellow history lovers and readers. Maybe a long swig of the mineral water for extra protection? (HAHA!)

~Kristen

Sources:

https://americanhistory.si.edu/collections/search/object/nmah_1298043

https://www.southhillenterprise.com/news/article_8505c144-9dd2-5a39-816a-84c822a5276a.html

https://history.house.gov/Historical-Highlights/1901-1950/Pure-Food-and-Drug-Act/

https://www.gettyimages.com/photos/buffalo-lithia-water?phrase=buffalo%20lithia%20water&sort=mostpopular

On My Bookshelf: March

 Another month of wondrous Michigan out of the way...she's extra temperamental in the spring, always sending snippets of warm weather followed by a winter storm. It doesn't matter that I've spent my entire life in this state, I'm always fooled by that false spring. This year was no exception!

It's also odd to think that this is a year later after quarantine. Life is so different! One of my biggest changes is that I'm reading WAYYY more than I did before. Reading has become a necessary part of my day, which is such a contrast from before. It's like I spent years reading very little, and then I had time to read, so I took it! I haven't read this much since I was a kid, devouring those chapter books like they were treats.

This spring has also led to reading outside on our swing overlooking the backyard. Sometimes deer and squirrels will come up for a visit, much to the chagrin of my ever-present beagle, who points his tail and goes insane. Apparently once a hunting dog, always a hunting dog!

1. Cleansing Rites of Curanderismo

by Erika Buenaflor, M.A., J.D.

This book is similar to one I read last year about curanderismo. Now that I have a little background knowledge I have a deeper understanding of the text. This book gives more background about ancient Mayan people and their culture, which helps explain the different traditions. It's odd still to see elements of my own family's traditions woven around different customs. I never thought to question why we did certain things; they were just part of who we are and what we did. As an adult trying to learn more about her heritage, it's helpful to make those connections. I 100% think you should read this book if you're Latinx and looking for more ways to look into your past. It's opening a whole new world of research for me...books. There are more books I have to buy!

2. Black Water Tales: The Secret Keepers

By Jean Nicole Rivers

This may be a little-known fact to my faithful readers, but I really started my love of reading in the horror/mystery genre. I first recall stealing a Mary Higgins Clark from my Mom's bookshelf in 4th or 5th grade, and then I was completely hooked. I later jumped to Stephen King and just fell hard for the scary stuff. So when this book series came across my Tik Tok last month, I decided to give it a try. 

The story jumps ahead years after the disappearance of a young woman in a small town; police find her body, and her friends and family grapple with the investigation. Regina, the main character, tried to run from her past and is pushed right in the middle of it after they discover her friend's corpse. It's a basic mystery, an oldie but a goodie, as my Grandma would say. While I did love the plot and the details, sometimes the author's writing style didn't quite mesh with my usual style. It's still good work, and I'll be reading the next one in the series since a good story is always worth reading!

3. The Three Incestous Sisters

By Audrey Niffenegger

This book kept popping up on my Amazon recommended list and I was interested in the front cover. Still, I didn't order it until it went on sale because I wasn't sure about what to expect. It is a beautifully illustrated story about three sisters, their lives together, and the obstacles that keep them apart. The storyline was short and to the point, but the real captivating aspect of this book was the illustrations. I didn't just look at each page, I experienced it, which may sound weird, but hey, this is my blog and I can talk about things how I wish. I will use this book to help inspire me in some of my future artistic endeavors. 

4. Harrow County

By Cullen Bunn and Tyler Crook

I 100% judged this graphic novel by its cover. My favorite genre for as long as I can remember has always been horror, but this image went beyond that. There's a sort of domestic tranquility implied with a skin tucked away gently into a drawer, the blinking yellow eyes of a ghoul just inside. I was intrigued and had to read it!

The main character discovers dark secrets about herself, secrets about her family, secrets about the town where she lives. There's so much to unpack in each little scene that I keep going back to reread in case I've missed something. The art is fantastic, the storyline is well-written, and though I would not give this to children, it's certainly a good read for adults. I've already ordered the next one in the series!

5. Unsolved Deaths

By Charles Phillips

Once when I was a kid I visited my Aunt and Uncle with the rest of the family. At some point during our visit, I managed to find a coffee table book about mysteries, monsters, and other creepy coincidences in history. I can't say definitively that it was the moment I really fell in love with the genre, but it was certainly a good start.

This book brings up mysteries I'd never considered or researched; people going missing or dying under mysterious circumstances is far more common than I'd previously considered. I liked how the author made sure to address the burning questions about each case, though leaving it up to the reader to decide for themselves. Maybe I'll save this one for my nephew to find in a few years :)

~Kristen

5 Months Later: My COVID Case

The passage of time is so odd. Sometimes it speeds up, nearly a mile a minute, and then it slows to a crawl. But it's not always measured by speed. Sometimes time is more time, packed tightly together until it is compressed. I would say 2020 fits that description, as well as the first part of 2021.

October 22nd will always be a strange day since that's when I received the phone call that my painful "cold" wasn't even a cold at all, but COVID. I remember standing (then plopping onto the bed) in complete disbelief. Because after months of my fiance working in a hospital with COVID patients we didn't get it, but me working with students for less than a week led to a positive test result. It explained why I felt so off.

And then there were the symptoms, the whole thing. I remember being so tired it hurt and every part of me wanted to sleep but couldn't. I remember struggling to breathe when I talked to my students every day because I was worried they would worry, and I wanted to help my school, so I logged in and taught online. In hindsight, I should have rested. 

Over time, my symptoms have lessened or changed, but COVID is still very present in my life. Even after both doses of the vaccine, I can feel some of the effects. It has been about 5 months since my diagnosis, and it wasn't until a week ago that I finally had some semblance of normal.  5 months is a long time to not feel well. And despite the fact that I did not die or end up in the hospital, it greatly impacted my mind and body.

So I thought it would be a good idea to give everyone an update about my symptoms. To be honest, we don't know what happens to COVID survivors years down the line. These effects are just the ones I can see/feel.

My Long Term Effects of COVID

***Internal damage/pulmonary embolism scare

When I didn't start feeling better by January, I knew I had to see the doctor. It had been nearly three months, and my school planned to return to face-to-face learning. I was worried that I could even walk to each location where I teach, and I needed to get a handicap pass to lessen the distance. So I made an appointment to figure it all out.

The doctor was worried about my safety after hearing that we were returning to face-to-face learning, and ran a series of tests. She found that I indeed had diminished lung capacity as well as some difficulties with my heart rate. It's common for COVID survivors to have lung/heart damage, so I wasn't surprised, but definitely defeated. She prescribed me multiple inhalers and gave some advice about recovery.

Then a test came back positive, and I received a very worried phone call; I needed to have a CT scan ASAP to determine whether or not I had a pulmonary embolism (a blood clot in my lungs). I went to the emergency room and was helped by a very wonderful group of nurses. The doctor read my scan immediately and determined that, while I did not have an embolism in my lungs, there was some scarring. It explained why I was still so tired and unable to return to normal function. 

That week was the worst. I was either at the doctor's office, blood-drawing site, or ER every day for a week straight. By the way, my blood clotted way too quickly, and I had to go back and get poked again. It was pretty miserable.

***Loss of Muscle/endurance/increased heart rate

Whenever I've been sick in the past, it might take a few weeks, but then I could go back to my previous activities. The flu might take two weeks, but eventually, I could return to my routine. 

One of the first activities I returned to after COVID was walking. I could only walk short distances at first, from the bed to my computer chair, from the couch to the kitchen. My step counter shows how I very slowly returned back to even a small amount of movement. I was averaging 15-20,000 steps a day pre-COVID, and afterward, I barely reached 3,000. There were some days lower than this.

Over the past 5 months, I've tracked my progress in the app, noting that I could not sustain increased activity for more than a day or two without days of recovery. It's very frustrating to feel well enough to walk one day, then almost bedridden the next. 

I'm able to walk much farther distances now, but I'm incredibly weak compared to pre-COVID. I can't really lift heavy things without considerable effort. Of course, everyday activities require me to lift things, so I can imagine that was part of the reason why my recovery has taken so long.

***Some difficulty typing/writing

I remember back in November trying to speak Spanish to my students and completely failing. That eventually improved, as well as the feeling in my hands and feet. 

One strange thing I've noticed is that I still misspell words. I KNOW how to spell it, but it's like my fingers don't receive the message from my brain. Usually, it's something that my spell checker catches right away, but it does mean that I need more time to write. As someone who could fly through typing, this has been an adjustment. My crafting also suffered, since my fine motor skills took a hit. I've tried to focus on crafts that don't require my fingers to be very sensitive, like doing latch hook rugs or coloring book pages.

Since returning to face-to-face learning with my students, I've noticed difficulty writing on the board too. My handwriting is the same but I make a lot of little mistakes when I write. This has taken a lot of practice to improve!

***Altered Sense of Taste and Smell Leads to Weight Gain

I'll be completely honest; I already had an interesting relationship with food. Sometimes I can't help myself from eating treats, and as a result my weight changes often. It's really easy to shovel cheap, crappy food in my mouth, but to some degree, I could keep things under control.

At first, not being able to taste may seem like an inconvenience. Why is tasting food necessary? Very quickly I noted that foods without strong flavors (salty chips, pickles, swiss cheese, dark chocolate) tasted like mush. When you can't taste you only feel, so things like vegetables and soup were so weird. Couple that with not feeling well, and it's no wonder I gained weight. Now I'm dealing with the effects of being overweight, which don't help my recovery.

When I spoke to my doctor about this, she gave me the idea to try scent therapy. Basically, whenever I eat something, I smell it for a little while and try to remember a time when I smelled or ate something similar. It's a little weird to be sniffing my food all the time, but it's slowly making an impact. Just the other day, I was walking around an outdoor market and smelled herbs/kielbasa at the same time and cried a little (behind my mask of course!). It hit me SO HARD like memories of my Grandma Dolly, and so many memories rushed at once. Of course, I ate some kielbasa and sour kraut in her honor, so it ended well! 

***Anxiety/Depression

This is the hardest to talk about, and notice how I left it to last! It was really hard to talk about mental health even BEFORE the pandemic. I'm not excited to share my feelings, but it's so important for people to know how bad this can get before they engage in risky behaviors or dismiss it outright. Mental health is important, so I'm going to be transparent about my own.

I had a lot of trouble with insomnia at varying times. Sometimes I could sleep for days straight, and others I wouldn't even be able to nap with only three hours of sleep the night before. I'd turn off my phone, take melatonin, do whatever I could to sleep, but nothing seemed to work. Luckily I was not teaching in person while this took place, so I was relatively safe.

There's also the fear that I spent several weeks wondering if I would get one of my loved ones/coworkers sick and cause serious harm. This is not something that is often discussed, and since it is very difficult to track COVID in large gatherings, I don't know if I'll ever know if I harmed someone. This bothers me sometimes, the not knowing.

Being so tired and anxious about others for so long takes a toll on the human spirit. I barely had the energy to do things I loved, even holding up a book took considerable effort. So my joy and creativity were the first things to go; if I could barely get myself to eat or take a shower, there was no room in my life for other things. If this were for a week or two, it would be fine. It took 5 months, inhalers/medication, and extensive testing for me to return to my craft desk without hesitation. That's a long time to stop doing what I love, and that is damaging for a creative person.

Then there's the injustice of it all. There are still black, brown, and indigenous people who are dying from COVID, and many are doing nothing to help. That hurts my soul, a deep wound that I don't know will ever heal.

ALSO, and I forgot to add this, getting the vaccine was traumatic for me. Not because it was that terrible with symptoms (not even close to the actual virus), but because it triggered my anxiety that it would take a long time for me to feel better again. If I have to get that vaccine every year and still have the side effects, I'll do it in a heartbeat. I just need to emotionally prepare better next time. Get your vaccine, please!

***In Conclusion...

Yes, I am feeling better now. It took so long to get to this point. Sometimes I'll walk someplace and just take a deep breath without it hurting, and maybe tear up a little. Just this little slice of a long-term illness has changed my perspective of life.

I like to think that before COVID I was empathetic towards people with chronic illness or at least aware of the struggles they face. Nope. 100% had no clue, and even just this little bit that I experienced isn't close. There are so many ableist attitudes I've had to confront in myself because they were right in front of me, and I couldn't ignore them. Like the fact that a grocery store setup is not conducive to someone who can't lift/reach/hold things. Or that there are no places to sit in most stores if you get tired. And just forget standing up and teaching for a while, especially if you can't walk, talk, and breathe! I discovered the many workarounds for these situations, but it still affects everyday life.

So in conclusion, dear readers, take care of yourself and your families. Believe someone when they say they've had a difficult time with COVID. Believe someone when they say they're coping with chronic illness and need assistance. When someone asks for help, do whatever you can, because believe me, it takes so much out of your pride and sense of self to admit that you can't do it all.

I hope you're doing well with spring. I can even smell it a little!

~Kristen

The Flint Museum of Art

Recently I had the opportunity to visit the Flint Institute of Art. Over the years I've made plans to visit, and then would change those plans because of the many other things on my plate. I was driving by in the area and thought, "Yep, now works." I was not disappointed!

I wandered around for over an hour, just letting myself feel the art. Since it was during the week there were few people around. I mostly had the place to myself. The quiet made it easier to really absorb what I was looking at. I forget how rich my world was pre-pandemic, at least in terms of in-person art experiences. I used to go several times a month to either the DIA or some other museum nearby.

It is a wonderful experience to see different people interpret the world, and to have that readily available. While I tend to prefer 19th-century paintings, there are so many mediums that can be used to express them. The FIA features ancient art, as well as modern, including photography, glasswork, paintings, carvings, textile art, and even beadwork. 

When I'm viewing pieces at a museum, I look for different things. There's the usual stuff, like jewelry and items that I like to reproduce in my shop. Then I move past that, into inspiration. Sometimes a color combination, often a pattern, or even a technique I'd like to research in the future. I may even use it in my classroom for a visual learning activity.

I've realized too that this year has been incredibly difficult. Between getting COVID and coping with the trauma of a pandemic...I needed something that brought me some joy, that reminded me that this world can still offer beauty. 

Here are a few of the pictures I took while at the FIA, and you can enjoy! I didn't get pictures of every plaque/artist, but if you're particularly interested, I can find out that info pretty quickly and will send it.     

I love that coral jewelry and doll!

The dog, the rug, just all of it.

I've definitely been in the mood for spring...

I know this wasn't meant to be spooky, but church 

with old graveyard at night?

There's something about this dress that caught my eye.

Very life-like!

Again, something in this struck me.

The colors, the expression on the face.

It's hard to see this one up close, but the pattern

was this pretty green with red, blue, and gold accents.

This guy was really, really big and made from glass.

I'm a sucker for ancient greek looking statues...

The colors, patterns, all of it!

This one just brought me back to my old

Catholic School days...

This makes me want to do photography of everyday objects 

in my life as a sort of journal of the pandemic.

Ancient objects always feel like they're hiding secrets.

I'm always astounded by how these objects have survived 

for so long...

This artist had a lot of abstract art, 

and you could really feel each color with each piece of paper

I seriously thought this was a real person and freaked out. 

It is super lifelike and kinda creepy

This one reminded me of paper marbling!

It was the color combo for this one...

~Kristen