Long Haul COVID Symptoms: Update

I'm writing this post not long after a friend of mine has died from COVID. He was young, healthy, unvaccinated; it's odd to think he will no longer be in this world. I didn't make it to his funeral, but I went to a gathering for friends later, and it was hard. 

His death, and the illnesses/hospitalizations of many people I know, helped me to decide to do another update post on my health. Our household is fully vaccinated, which is a relief, though we will be getting the booster shots as soon as they are available. I would get a shot every day for the rest of my life if it meant not going through what I went through already.

To start, my taste and smell senses are still altered. I cannot always identify a scent and will ask people around me to help "place" it. That might sound just annoying, but in reality, it creates a lot of problems. I still have trouble figuring out if food has gone bad. I am self-conscious that I smell bad. Sometimes a strong odor of plastic or cigarette will randomly fill my nostrils. It's not pleasant and it's a daily reminder.

I think my tastes have changed since COVID. Before I preferred chocolate desserts with subtle taste in my meals. Now I'll take anything really tart, sour, or strong. Pickled eggs are still my favorite, along with swiss cheese. I'm also a fan of anything crunchy and salty, which isn't great for eating healthy. I'm wondering when I'll feel comfortable eating again. I still have symptoms of IBS when I eat certain foods or if I get too anxious. Apparently, this is another long-term problem they're seeing. It's painful, and sometimes difficult to function in any way resembling normal.

When I work out, my heart rate gets very fast, and I'll get dizzy and sick to my stomach. I've never had that issue in the past. I played three sports in high school, did Pure Barre in 2019, and have run 5ks. I've been heavier, and more out of shape than I am at this time, and still did many things. It's really frustrating because I now have a limit, a stopping point, that is painful to push. This isn't "girl out of shape," this is "I am very suddenly going to pass out, sit down now." I'm trying hard to work through it, but it's definitely hindering my long-term recovery efforts. My balance is still off too.

My words have improved greatly, though I still forget things, things I should know. My brain has created a workaround for trying to name things. Just the other day I forgot the word "references" when doing job interviews. I called them "recommenders," which got the job done, but scared me a little. Are there things in my memory that are erased? Are there small moments in my past that are gone forever? My Spanish speaking skills have improved, which has been a great relief. Yet there are so many question marks about what happened during those weeks when I existed in a fog of pain. 

There are still people out there minimizing COVID. They say things like "you're alive, get over it!" with a shrill insistence that my suffering was necessary. Here I am, 10 months later, coming to terms with the fact that this might not be "long haul COVID," but "forever COVID," and I really, really didn't want to be here. I just want things to be back to normal with my mind and body.

With masks a heavily debated issue in my state/county, I try to keep myself out of the conversation. It makes me so angry, so tired to hear anti-science rhetoric woven into the fabric of some communities. I watched a board meeting the other day where a crowd of people CHEERED when it was revealed that there was a low vaccination rate in the area. They were proud. This was the community where I once worked; I contracted this virus from a staff member or student the very first week we went to school. It's like what happened to me never happened at all.

Whoever you are, wherever you are reading this, I hope you are vaccinated. I hope you are as safe as you can be. Heck, start wearing masks again in indoor public places, just to humor me. If I can save one person the trouble and pain of long-haul COVID, then this post was worth it.

~Kristen