Saturday, October 24, 2020

Non-Consensual Participation in the Historic Covid Pandemic

 To start, I want you to know that this blog post took about a week to write. Not because it is a difficult topic, or that I'm so out of practice in the art of writing that words escape me (ha). I'm exhausted beyond what I thought was possible to still be a person, and even the drugs and measures I've taken to keep me standing barely do just that. Most of the time I'm passed out on a surface in the house, but I thought it was important to write this.

I returned to face to face, hybrid teaching about two weeks ago. I went from a distance learning format, where I saw no students, to seeing students every hour, all day. Cases were going up in the state of Michigan.

Let me add here: I wore a mask when required. I did my best to keep a distance from my students, though it is not possible with the space we have. I washed my hands and my desks and everything imaginable when I got home. I've taken vitamins and stayed hydrated. I only went to the grocery store. And yet, I contracted COVID.

It started with me being a little tired. Honestly, it felt like allergies, so I took an antihistamine and decided to rest. When I woke up the next day, I felt the beginnings of a cold. Immediately I contacted my work because I'm not going to play around with that stuff. Thus began my first week of quarantine.

At first, I was aching, sore, and tired. My chest was congested and I had a fever, as well as gastrointestinal symptoms. A sore throat appeared. My nose was burning, and I lost my sense of taste and smell. I taught virtually from my home, hours in the day despite my symptoms. I didn't want my students to worry and I was worried about falling behind. So I spent 4 days teaching and grading and doing all the things I shouldn't be doing. In my defense, I wasn't moving around a whole lot, mostly because I would get dizzy and need to sit down again. But this was wrong and I will tell anyone, just because you feel well enough to do something, doesn't mean you should. You're going to need every ounce of energy for the next part, so get ready. By this time my test came back positive.

I really hoped I was nearing the end of this...and then it got worse. Suddenly I could barely move, roll on my side from one position to the next. My resting heart rate was really, really fast. The pulse oximeter detected lower oxygen, then lower, and we prepared to possibly take me to the hospital. Here I am, 32 years old, and I can't even hold my head up. This was the scariest moment so far, Luckily my fiance worked with COVID patients and has the experience to take care of me.

Let me say this: I have ZERO respect for you if you call this the flu. I think you're an idiot if you think "herd immunity" is the answer (which would kill thousands of more people). My lungs may be permanently damaged, though we won't know for a bit BECAUSE THERE ARE NO LONG TERM STUDIES ABOUT THE EFFECTS OF COVID. This could be a really, really bad October for me or the start of a lifetime of health issues. All I did was physically walk into a building that I've been working in for a decade and do the job I've always done.

COVID isn't done with me yet. I'm still under quarantine and can barely walk to the bathroom. My bag is still packed just in case my oxygen dips again. I can't talk for too long without taking gulps of air like a person drowning. I'm having trouble sleeping because everything hurts. I've needed help getting dressed because I did not have the strength to raise my arms to put on a shirt. Literally, my biceps would not work, even with medicine and caffeine.


It definitely felt weird to take a picture right now, but I think I should be documenting what's happening to me. COVID is a legitimate, terrible virus that has killed 225,000+ people in the US alone. It is not a hoax against the president. The policies in place now have allowed it to spiral out of control, and I would be unbelievably angry if I wasn't so tired and focused on drinking this glass of water. Quit complaining that life isn't back to normal. 

I will add an update this week depending on how I feel. Please, please stay safe in the meantime. I'm going to get some rest because it is necessary right now.

~Kristen

1 comment:

  1. Sending Mega Doses of Positive Healing Energies. And Prayers. So Many Prayers. And Get Completely Better Wishes. And =) and <3

    ReplyDelete

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